Functional Testing
Comprehensive hormone analysis measuring 50+ markers to uncover the root cause of your fatigue, mood changes, and hormonal symptoms, plus a complete 3-month balancing protocol designed just for you.
You used to feel like yourself. You had energy. You slept through the night. Your mood was stable. And then, slowly (or maybe all at once), everything changed. Now you barely recognize the woman staring back at you in the mirror.
Your hormones affect everything. And when they're off, YOU feel off.
Maybe you've experienced:
Crushing fatigue that makes getting through the day feel impossible
Weight gain (especially around your midsection) that won't budge no matter what you try
Sleep problems like waking at 3am and not being able to fall back asleep
Mood swings, anxiety, or depression that feel completely out of character
Brain fog so thick you forget words mid-sentence
Hot flashes or night sweats that disrupt your sleep and your life
Low libido and feeling disconnected from your body
Irregular, painful, or heavy periods that control your calendar
Hair loss, acne, or skin changes that make you feel like a teenager again (and not in a good way)
Being told by doctors that your labs are "normal" when you feel anything but
Standard hormone tests only scratch the surface. They measure a handful of markers and miss the complete picture of how your body produces, processes, and eliminates hormones. That's why you can feel terrible while your doctor insists everything looks fine.
The Hormone Zoomer changes that.
Hormones are your body's chemical messengers, regulating everything from your sleep-wake cycle to your stress response, metabolism, and reproductive health. When hormones are out of balance, the effects ripple throughout your entire body, showing up as fatigue, mood swings, weight resistance, sleep issues, and so much more.
The Hormone Zoomer uses advanced LC-MS/MS and GC-MS/MS technology to measure over 50 hormone-related markers from a simple urine sample. This comprehensive analysis goes beyond basic hormone levels to examine hormone metabolites, providing insights into how your body produces, processes, and eliminates hormones.
This matters because two women with the same estrogen levels can have completely different symptoms based on how their bodies metabolize that estrogen. The Hormone Zoomer reveals the full story, giving us the information we need to create a truly personalized protocol.
The Hormone Zoomer provides a complete picture of your hormonal landscape, analyzing markers across multiple systems to understand exactly what's happening in your body.
Understanding estrogen production and metabolism:
Evaluating progesterone function:
Assessing androgen balance:
Comprehensive stress hormone analysis:
Sleep-wake cycle assessment:
Environmental hormone interference:
Why does this matter? Because your symptoms (the fatigue, the mood swings, the weight gain) aren't random. They're signals. And this test helps us decode exactly what your hormones are trying to tell you.
This comprehensive program is designed for women who are ready to stop guessing and start understanding their bodies. The Hormone Zoomer is perfect for you if:
You're dealing with persistent fatigue that doesn't improve with rest
You experience mood swings, anxiety, or irritability that feel out of control
You have sleep problems like insomnia, waking at night, or unrefreshing sleep
You're struggling with stubborn weight that won't respond to diet or exercise
You're experiencing perimenopause or menopause symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats
You have PMS, irregular periods, or painful cycles
You've been diagnosed with or suspect PCOS, endometriosis, or thyroid issues
You're dealing with low libido or feeling disconnected from your body
You have hair loss, acne, or skin changes that appeared out of nowhere
You're tired of being told your labs are "normal" when you feel anything but
This program is for women who are ready to invest in themselves and committed to doing the work to feel balanced again. I only accept a limited number of clients at a time, apply to work with me to see if we're the right fit.
When you invest in the Hormone Zoomer program, you're not just getting a test. You're getting a complete, personalized hormone balancing experience with expert guidance every step of the way.
Before your test even arrives, we'll meet for a comprehensive consultation where I'll answer all your questions, review your health history and symptoms, and walk you through the intake forms together. You'll feel completely prepared and supported from day one.
Your Hormone Zoomer test kit arrives directly at your door. No lab visits required. The collection process is simple (urine samples collected at specific times throughout the day), private, and done in the comfort of your own home. The kit includes everything you need with clear instructions.
Once you've collected your samples, simply pop them in the prepaid return envelope. No extra costs, no hassle. The lab handles everything from there, and results are typically ready within 2-3 weeks.
The Hormone Zoomer analyzes over 50 hormone-related markers including estrogen metabolites, progesterone, testosterone, cortisol patterns, melatonin, and endocrine disruptors. This is one of the most thorough hormone assessments available, . All tests are processed by a CLIA-certified, CAP-accredited laboratory.
This is where the transformation begins. Based on YOUR unique hormone profile, I'll build a complete 3-month balancing protocol tailored specifically to your results. No generic recommendations. Everything is customized for you, including nutrition guidance, targeted supplements, lifestyle modifications, and stress management strategies.
We'll meet to go through your results in detail. I'll explain exactly what's happening with your hormones, what it means for your symptoms, and how your protocol will address each finding. This session is recorded so you can revisit it anytime. There's a lot of valuable information to absorb!
Hormone balancing is a journey, and you won't be doing this alone. You'll receive dedicated check-in calls throughout your 3-month program so we can monitor your progress and adjust as needed.
This is a 3-month partnership dedicated to transforming your hormonal health.
A complete 3-month hormone balancing program with personalized support every step of the way.
Looking for comprehensive testing? Save $2,000 with The Hormone Edit Blueprint: all four tests plus $997 in exclusive bonuses including 3 digital guides, 90-day Slack support, and a bonus 4th-month check-in for $3,497.
Your Practitioner
As a Certified Holistic Nutritional Practitioner, I don't just hand you a supplement list and send you on your way. I dig into your full health picture, your labs, your symptoms, your story, and build a plan that actually makes sense for your life.
I've been where you are, and I know how frustrating it is to feel dismissed or unheard. That's exactly why I do this work.
I take on a limited number of clients at a time so I can give each person my full attention throughout their 3-month program. A discovery call ensures we're the right fit for each other, that I can truly help you, and that you're ready to commit to the process.
Stop guessing and start understanding. Apply to work with me and see if the Hormone Zoomer program is right for you.
Apply to Work With Me